Resources
Your
Friends For Life
Are
you aware of a non-profit organization in Aspen whose sole
purpose is to provide comfort and assistance to cancer survivors
and their families? A recent article in the Valley Journal
highlights the tremendous efforts of this organization,
how they can help, and how you can contact them.
The
Valley Journal 02/28/2008, Page A06
FEATURE FOCUS
Cancer support volunteers become friends for life
BY
TRINA ORTEGA
The brochure that details Diane Welter’s volunteer
support organization, Your Friends for Life, states: “We
recognize that cancer is not a 9–5 disease, and we
are available nights and weekends.” Welter remembers
a Sunday phone call from a cancer patient who was trying
to hide being distraught. The patient was surprised when
Welter picked up the phone; she expected an answering machine.
“I don’t have my wig on. I’m in my PJs,”
the patient had said. Welter could tell in the patient’s
voice that she needed a friend and demanded: “Stay
in your PJs, don’t worry about your wig. I’m
coming over right now.”
Anyone else may have not responded so readily, but Welter,
a lifelong caregiver, didn’t hesitate. “I’m
not a counselor and I don’t pretend to be a counselor,
but sometimes they just need someone who understands,&#
8221; said Welter, the founder of Your Friends for Life.
“Sometimes you need to be assured that you’re
OK and that someone does care about you.”
Her nonprofit provides non-medical support to nurture and
encourage cancer patients, caregivers and their family members
during diagnosis, treatment and recovery from all types
of cancer. In 2007, Friends offered assistance to 72 families
and had 49 volunteers from Aspen to Rifle — numbers
that have blown Welter away.
Aiming
for 100 patients
She knew the demand was there and set her goal for 50 families
but was admittedly surprised that she far exceeded that
number. Now, the organization has turned a year and is aiming
for 100 families. To do so, Welter is putting out a call
for more volunteers.
Because of patient privacy laws, she is not allowed to make
the initial contact with potential families; they must call
her. However, word among patients is spreading and she’s
getting more and more referrals from Valley View Hospital,
Shaw Regional Cancer Center in Edwards, and the American
Cancer Society in Grand Junction.
Friends might go grocery shopping, wheel the trash to the
curb, do light gardening, cook a meal, take the dog for
a walk, shovel snow, do laundry, rake leaves, pick up mail,
or change sheets on a bed. “Things that might be real
simple, but are huge for a patient,” Welter said.
For instance, “they wake up in the morning and their
walk is shoveled.”
Welter and her crew of volunteers will call families to
check in and see if anything particular is needed. Sometimes
they’ll just show up with flowers, a special lotion,
a hug or a smile.
A
friend of the family
On Valentine’s Day, Welter is bearing chocolates and
gifts for Glenwood Springs resident Barbara Tanaka and her
family.
Tanaka, who was featured in an August 2007 Valley Journal
article, was diagnosed in May 2007 with breast cancer. She
underwent chemotherapy in the fall, and as of the Feb. 14
visit, Tanaka was one-and-a-half weeks into her six-week
treatment of radiation. The two women hug and Welter presents
Tanaka with the treats. “She does this,” Tanaka
says, explaining that at Christmas everyone got a present
— the new grand-baby, Tanaka’s mom and husband
— everyone. Welter reminds her: “You’re
not the only one who gets cancer. Your kids, your family
get it, too.” They hug again.
Welter asks Tanaka how the daily radiation at the Shaw center
is going. Is the center open on President’s Day? And
has she been getting rides? Tanaka, being a strong-willed
woman, replies that she has been driving herself. There’s
some gentle scolding, and Welter reminds Tanaka: “You
should let your friends drive you, too. You’ve got
to remember it’s good for friends to spend time with
you and help take care of you.”
Although Friends volunteers cannot drive patients due to
liability, they often meet them at appointments or sit with
them while receiving treatment.
‘Hasn’t
faded away’
Tanaka’s journey has been a long one, and her doctor
was forthright in saying it will be six months to a year
after radiation before she’ll start to feel “normal”
again. “The support is great. There is somebody else
who knows what I am going through. At first it was like
a funeral parlor here, there were so many flowers. …
This is seven months later and Diane hasn’t faded
away,” Tanaka said.
Like lifelong friends just sharing coffee and conversation,
the two chat about Tanaka’s eldest son becoming a
head chef. Welter knows the family members by name and was
invited to the Tanaka Japanese holiday party.
Unrehearsed, Welter says: “So it’s fun. You
really become …” “… part of the
family,” Tanaka finishes.
Representative of a volunteer’s schedule, Welter has
been making weekly visits to the Tanaka household since
August, hanging out, sharing tips, taking Tanaka’s
81-year-old mom to lunch, and delivering meals. “It’s
not that the husband can’t come home and do a meal.
This gives him a night off. It gives him a break,”
Welter said.
A break for kids, too
Friends also try to give the children some reprieve, too,
by taking them to play mini golf, on a ride up the tram,
to see a movie or treat them to pizza — any measure,
Welter says, to help them feel a little bit “normal.”
Currently, the organization is supporting five families
with children undergoing treatment in Denver, so Welter
gets donated gas cards and restaurant gift certificates
for the Denver area to help these families who have to set
up “second homes” in the Front Range. (In addition
to such donations, funds come from private donors and grants,
such as those received from Carbondale Rotary and The Thrift
Store in Aspen.) On the flip side, Welter has entire families
that volunteer, as well. Welter recalled that one boy of
a volunteer family picked out Popsicles at the grocery store
and told the patient: “I eat these when my throat
hurts.” Even if the kids are just there, playing in
the yard, it can be enough to brighten a patient’s
day, she added. “It’s a perfect chance to do
something together. It teaches kids the value of helping,”
she said.
With her professional experience in caregiving for more
than 12 years and being the second of eight kids in her
own family, Welter is an expert in the area of helping.
“It’s always been natural — the nurturing.
For me, it just seems like the really obvious thing to do.”
Part of her routine is checking in with patients after their
treatment ends or after scans, during the stressful “limbo
stage,” as she calls it, when a patient may no longer
have the support of doctors and nurses. “In an ideal
world, you would have six weeks of treatment, be healthy
and happy and go back to work. But it doesn’t work
that way,” said Welter, whose true hope is that a
cure for cancer be found in a few years so she can shift
her services to others in need.
Support
through thick and thin
Like so many of the patients, Tanaka has been grateful for
the TLC from Your Friends for Life and plans to pass it
on once she completes her treatment. “For me, it’s
about the support and not feeling left alone through all
of this. They stick with you through thick and thin, all
the way,” Tanaka said. “I’ve thought about
it a lot and just thank God for Diane and her group. It’s
huge. It’s like somebody else is on your journey with
you and that makes it a lot easier. “I’m sure
I’ll be helping in whatever way I can,” Tanaka
tells Welter of her plans to help other patients. “I’d
be happy to do that for you.” And spoken like a true
caregiver, Welter responds: “Let’s just get
you through the next month.”
To
volunteer or receive support, contact Welter at 309-5293
or yourfriendsforlife@hotmail.com.
